Restless

I don't know why but I am very restless today.  But I've been restless for at least a year.  Life threw some things my way that I wasn't ready for.  I almost feel like I can't catch my breath.  I can't focus and my mind goes everywhere.  I'm ADD so that is not unusual.  But it has seemed more than normal.  We have lived back in Birmingham for almost 11 years.  We hardly stayed anywhere for more than 3 years for most of our marriage.  Not sure what is going on.  I felt a need to leave my position at our church serving on our Online Dream Team to go to the Woodlawn campus.  I begin there next Sunday.  As of today, I have 388 days until I'm done with Highlands College and 599 days until I'm hopefully done with my D.Min from Luther Rice. 

The grader for one of the classes really liked my 22-page paper the other day and said that I should consider doing a Ph.D.  I don't know if I can take another 3-4 years of college.  I can't believe I've been able to handle the load I've been taking.   I must be crazy.  I wonder if I will be stuck in the restless wilderness for years. 

Followers vs Leaders?

I have been devouring leadership books for the last 30 years.  The leadership industry is a billion dollar business.  We are taught to become leaders in school and in business.  This semester in my D.Min program I'm taking an Organizational Leadership class.  The professor introduced us to the concept of followership.  He even wrote a book called Followerfirst.  It has been amazing how God has used both semesters of my D.Min to break me and mold me.  Last semester I had to deal with relationship issues.  This semester my leadership box just got shattered.

We've been studying the importance of followers and leaders.  Obviously, you can't have a leader without followers.  John Maxwell has influenced my thinking for many years.  I am grateful for most of what I've learned.  But today, it hit me as I was praying and studying in Matthew 10.  God never told us to be leaders.  He told us to follow Him!  I'm not sure what the 2 Google Bots that read my blog think about hearing from God but I've heard God speak to me many times over the last 2 years specifically. 

Today, I heard God say the following things in prayer.  The Holy Spirit said to submit and be the best follower I can be.  He said that followers follow, they don't lead.  He said if you lead then I can't.  We both can't lead at the same time!  He told me to follow and let Him lead.  The problem in the world is we have way too many leaders and not enough followers.  He told me that I would lead but as a follower. Ouch!