Random Thoughts

Last week was a busy one.  Lots of stuff going on in our household.  Life has challenges for even the best of families.  Not sure why God wants us to have some of the stress on us but it could be worse.  Vocationally, life is in a standstill.  I've never been more bored.  First time since I graduated from UAB that I'm not in a leadership position.  Why would God have me so passionate about leadership and not have me in a leadership position?  Not sure but maybe it is a time of humbling.  It sure has been.  Granted, I did this on my own but I couldn't do the leadership that was presented.  Nothing morally wrong with it.  Just wasn't for me and my family.   I pray James 1:5 and other wisdom verses every day.  Not sure how wise I'm becoming.  I'm having quality and meaningful devotion times.  I'm pretty fit physically.  We aren't broke.  Not rich either.   I don't know what's next.  We shall see.

All Things

Romans 8:28 (NIV) says, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I truly believe this.  But it isn't a quick fix.  God works all things but in his timing.  We are in one of those stuck times.  We had to move my wife's mom in with us 2 years ago.  To say it has been stressful has been an understatement.  She doesn't treat me badly but she is horrible to my wife who cares for her anyway.  She had to go to the hospital in extreme pain last week and we were afraid they were going to send her back with us and we weren't prepared for the condition she is in.  God did do a miraculous thing by getting her in a rehab hospital.  But she is acting crazy there.  We don't know what to do.  We are trying to honor God by caring for her but don't know if we can anymore.  Maybe the rehab will help.  It did last time.  But last time we saw vast improvement.  We have not seen any this time.  She looks pretty bad.   We physically and emotionally don't know how much we can do.  God will have to step in.  That is probably where he wants us anyway.

Stop doubting and believe

Yesterday things looked pretty bleak.  We were told there was no way that our mother in law could go to rehab.  She had to have an epidural first.  But her doctor did not come to the hospital even though the buildings are connected.  We were going to have to bring my mother in law home without any way of caring for her in the condition she was in. 

The day before in my devotion time God told me she would not be coming home.  I don't know if that was permanent or just for a short time.  Then when we got the news she had to come with us I felt I missed what God had told me.  You can believe me if you want but I clearly heard him in my prayer time. 

Then my wife went to the hospital yesterday expecting to have to bring her mom home.  My wife is weary and we had no idea how we were going to care for her.  She needs an adjustable bed and we don't have one.  Then my wife called and said a miracle happened.  Somehow her doctor decided to take her in his office even though she needed to be free of antibiotics for a week.  Not sure what happened.  Also, rehab was taking her that night.

You can believe what you want but this was a miracle.  This doesn't solve all of our problems.   But God showed me that I need to stop doubting and believe.  We were told there was nothing that the doctors or hospital could do.  But God could.

Small Things

I am a dreamer.  When I dream I don't dream about small things.  But almost everything that has gotten big started small.  Usually, those who explode with growth quickly aren't able to withstand the pressure.  That is sad.  That is probably why God's plan is to give us small things to see if we are ready for the bigger things He wants to give us.  In Luke 19 Jesus tells a story of a ruler who gave his servants 10 minas.  That is the equivalent of 3 month's wages.  The first servant made 10 more and the 2nd made 5 more.  Unfortunately, the 3rd hid his and didn't earn anything.  I love what Jesus tells the first servant in Luke 19:17,

Well done, my good servant!’ his master replied. ‘Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.

I wonder how often I am trustworthy in the small things?  Maybe I'm in the desert season right now is because he is testing me for the small things.  May I learn.

What do you want me to do for you?

As I was studying in Luke 18 this morning there were a lot of takeaways.  The one that stuck out the most was there was a beggar who was blind and cried out to Jesus.  Now, Jesus is all knowing.  So I find this statement kind of funny.   Luke 18:41 says,

What do you want me to do for you?

Why would Jesus ask someone what they wanted from Him when He already knew?  Maybe because He wants us to keep asking.  In Luke 18:42 Jesus said,

Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.

God can do whatever He wants.  I think God wants us to ask and vocalize it. 

Much given--much expected

It's easy to complain and whine about minor things in life.  The reality is that we have it made in the US.  I have a house and a car to drive and I never worry about eating.  I have medical care regardless of how much it costs.  I have been given much.  I've also been given a lot spiritually.  God has gifted me with gifts I don't even understand.  God has given me a supernatural gift to share the gospel with people.  Usually when I share it leads to a decision.  It is not anything I've done.  It is all what God does through me.  I'm not that gifted naturally but I am supernaturally.  Jesus said in Luke 12:48b,

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

That is why I'm driven to serve.  I can't explain it.  It is a calling and I'm afraid if I don't use the gifts that God has entrusted to me that He will take them and give them to someone who will use them.  The last 2 years have been very confusing.  I have had to deal with stupid drama.  I'm sure I'm guilty of contributing to it.  I've been working on keeping my mouth shut and just serving.  God has given me so much and I want to use it for His glory.

You never know who is watching

Yesterday I responded to a pastor friend's Twitter post about the legalistic and mean tweets that some misguided people have responded to a prominent feminist Christian writer who died.  What I feel about her beliefs don't really matter at this time.  There is no reason to qualify them at a time like this.  What we should say is that we are sorry for her family's loss and we will be praying for them.  Period.

My pastor friend posted a horrible response to her passing.  It was actually very mean.  I responded that it is no wonder there are many who don't go to church.  I had no idea that a friend from high school saw my response.  He responded to me and my pastor friend that this is why he hasn't been to church in 40 years.  Ouch.  I wonder if my legalism drove him away when we were in high school.  I was a Pharisee.  I hate to think about how I was back then.  In this age of social media, you never know who is watching. 

Christians, (ME THE MOST), think about what you say and post.  Eternity does hang on the brink.

Can't save Himself

I was reading in Mark 15 this morning.  In vs 31 the chief priests and teachers of the law mocked Jesus and said: "but He can't save Himself."  This is true and false.  It is false because Jesus could have come down at any time and saved Himself.  But it is false because He couldn't save Himself or maybe it should say He "WOULDN'T" save Himself.  Thank God He didn't try to save Himself.  He had to be crucified to pay for "MY" sins.

Overwhelmed

I don't know anyone who hasn't felt overwhelmed at some point in their life.   In Mark 14:34 Jesus was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.  Jesus was and is God, but He gave up much of His power while on earth to identify with us.  What I noticed while reading this passage is that if Jesus, who is God, was overwhelmed it is not uncommon for me to be overwhelmed.  Maybe God allows us to be overwhelmed so that we depend and cry out to God.  Jesus even prayed three times to take away the pain that he was about to endure.

Assigned task?

I was studying in Mark 13 today and it was about when Jesus comes back to earth.  There is so much of this I don't understand.  But there were two parts that I get.  First, Jesus said to watch and then keep watch.  My job as a Christian is to always be ready for Jesus to come again.  The second part that I found interesting was that Jesus said I need to be busy doing my assigned task. In Mark 13:34 Jesus said just like a man who puts his servants in charge with their assigned task.  I felt God was telling me I just need to do what He has asked and assigned me to do.  It is not my job to worry about other Christians and make suggestions (or complaints) about what they are doing or not doing.  I need to watch and do what God has assigned to me.

Doubt vs belief?

Jesus told the disciples that if they believed they would receive whatever they asked for in prayer.  (Mark 11:24 NIV).  The key is to not doubt & believe.  Some have misinterpreted this as a name it claim it theology.  That isn't what Jesus is talking about here.  When we pray we must pray for God's will to be done through this.  There have been several things that God has shown me in prayer that would happen.  In fact, my wife told me one over 3 1/2 years ago.  None of it has happened--yet.  It would be easy to become discouraged and I have.  But I have to remind myself that I just have to have a little faith.  One man said I believe, help my unbelief.  That is what I need.  God, I believe, help my unbelief.

Don't you remember?

How many times has Jesus bailed me out of situations?   I could tell so many stories.  Yet, when I get in a jam and don't think I can't get out what do I do?  Just like most of us, I worry.  Years ago, I started writing down the God moments or spiritual markers that Henry Blackaby describes.  Why?  Because I need to remind myself that God has always been there and he always will be. 

In Mark 8 Jesus wants to feed 4000 people because they had been with him for 3 days.  The disciples acted like most of us would and said where are we going to find enough food to feed that many people?  4000 only included the men so likely there were 12,000 people.  But don't they remember when Jesus fed the 5000 men (likely 15,000 people)?  Jesus got frustrated with the disciples and asked them in Mark 8:18 (NIV)  "don't you remember?"

I wonder how many times Jesus thinks that of me?  He takes care of me so often and I still worry the next time an insurmountable obstacle comes my way.  People often say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  I think that is a lie from the devil.  I think God gives us things we can't handle so we will depend on Him.  The devil wants us to rely on ourselves.  God wants us to rely on Him!

Just believe

My favorite secular band is Journey.  They wrote a song 40 years ago that is still popular today and played in many sporting venues called "Don't stop believing."  There are times when it is hard to believe.  A loved one is sick, dying or already has died.  Finances are so messed up it is impossible to see any hope.  In Mark 5 a Synagogue leader named Jairus came to Jesus and asked him to help.  Things had to be pretty bad for a Hebrew religious leader to come to Jesus.  He wanted Jesus to heal his daughter.  Jesus told him just to believe.  How often is the answer to my problem my own faith?   I don't think God gives us enough to handle.  I think He gives us more so we will depend on Him.  If we could handle things, why would we need God?  So I wonder how my own faith determines what God does?

God's Will

God's will is not something we seek.  It is something we do.  I don't know how many times I've been guilty of seeking God's will.  The reality is God has given us His will. It is to love God and love people.  It is is to pray without ceasing.  We don't find God's will we do what He asks us.

Authority

I was doing my Bible Study in Mark 1 this morning.  I noticed that as Jesus began His ministry that people were drawn to His preaching because He had authority.  Some people think they have authority because of a position.  But the reality is that our authority comes from God.  There is nothing special about me.  Yet, through the power of the Holy Spirit, I have authority.  Jesus healed people, cast out demons and did miracles.   If I have that same Holy Spirit, why am I not expecting the same?  Convicting. 

He gave no answer

I have a pretty quick mind and unfortunately mouth.  I can't tell you how many times I've stuck my foot in my mouth and said things I regretted.   I've gotten better as I have gotten older but because my mind thinks of witty things to say it comes out.  I have worked to have better self-control.   When I was reading in Matthew 27 as false accusations, insults and physical harm came to Jesus, He remained silent.  That is rather convicting in a social media world where everyone thinks they have been persecuted.  We don't know persecution in the US.  I pray that I will learn just to let things go and not always feel the need to defend myself or those whom I care about.

Changes

Have you ever felt like some changes were in order?  I've sensed God doing some things in my heart for the last few months.  Well, actually over a year.  I acted on some of the leadings this weekend.  Not sure what exactly I will be doing but excited to see what God is going to do.

Listening day 1

I'm not sure which Google Bot will be reading this today.  So, it may only be me who reads what I'm writing.  Yesterday, I felt God telling me just to listen for a week.  I prayed much differently today.  I did pray for others but I did not pray for anything for me.  I just listened.  I felt God telling me not to listen to any books or podcasts today.  I sensed I was to worship and listen.  It is 8:42 AM as I write this.  I sensed God telling me I needed to have my eyes open and ears to hear and that He would give me a ministry opportunity today.  So, I will be leaving here in a few minutes expectant.

Follow me

In Matthew 19 a rich man came to Jesus to see what he needed to enter heaven.  People of that day believed the rich were blessed beyond the poor.  He really wanted to build up his own ego.  Jesus told him to keep the commandments.  He asked Jesus which ones?  The Pharisees had added 635 extra laws beyond what God had.  Jesus said to keep a few laws.  The man believed he had and said I've kept all of these what else must I do?   Jesus said to sell everything and give it to the poor and then you will find treasure in heaven.  The man walked away.  Jesus told the man to follow Him.  I don't remember seeing anywhere where Jesus said to go be a leader.  Jesus told us to follow Him.  If we are leading then He can't.  There can only be one leader. 

Followers vs Leaders?

I have been devouring leadership books for the last 30 years.  The leadership industry is a billion dollar business.  We are taught to become leaders in school and in business.  This semester in my D.Min program I'm taking an Organizational Leadership class.  The professor introduced us to the concept of followership.  He even wrote a book called Followerfirst.  It has been amazing how God has used both semesters of my D.Min to break me and mold me.  Last semester I had to deal with relationship issues.  This semester my leadership box just got shattered.

We've been studying the importance of followers and leaders.  Obviously, you can't have a leader without followers.  John Maxwell has influenced my thinking for many years.  I am grateful for most of what I've learned.  But today, it hit me as I was praying and studying in Matthew 10.  God never told us to be leaders.  He told us to follow Him!  I'm not sure what the 2 Google Bots that read my blog think about hearing from God but I've heard God speak to me many times over the last 2 years specifically. 

Today, I heard God say the following things in prayer.  The Holy Spirit said to submit and be the best follower I can be.  He said that followers follow, they don't lead.  He said if you lead then I can't.  We both can't lead at the same time!  He told me to follow and let Him lead.  The problem in the world is we have way too many leaders and not enough followers.  He told me that I would lead but as a follower. Ouch!