And they praised God because of me?

It has been a long summer dealing with health problems in my mother in law and preparing for a wedding for our son two weeks from today.  This past week I took my 3rd of 4 D.Min modules where I go to Atlanta for an entire week.  What a way to spend a vacation.  But I'm within 470 days from graduation.  But who is counting?

This morning in my devotions I was reading in Galatians 1.  Paul is giving a defense of his apostleship.  He said something in the last verse that hit me.

And they praised God because of me.

I wonder how many people praise God because of me?  We all want to be liked.  But being liked doesn't always lead to people praising God for you.  Sometimes I need to be told the ugly truth.  Some of the best bosses I had were very truthful.  It hurt but I knew they loved me.  I've had other bosses who could care less about me. They just want to get the job done.  I want to be known as one who cares and makes people better.  My favorite Bible character besides Jesus is Barnabas.  Why?  Because his name was changed to "Encourager."  That is what I want to be known for.  Kevin was an encourager and for that I praise God.  

Sandwich Generation

I haven’t written because life has been kind of out of control the last few weeks.  My wife has been overloaded with her job and a wedding for our son a month a way.  I have been trying to take up the slack for her.   My mother in law moved in with us 2 years ago.  We moved to a bigger house with a basement and have built out a mother in law suite.  We have had our share of struggles with her living with us.   She went to the hospital in June and she went to rehab for 2 weeks.  One nurse pulled my wife aside and told her she saw through her mom and that we could not keep living like this.  Her mom is nice to me but horrible to her mom.  The day before she moved back my wife put her mom on speakerphone and when she began to talk ugly to my wife I stepped in and told her mom she had 2 choices.   She could respect Cass and stay with us or we would find somewhere else for her to live.

Amazingly, her mom had been nice every since then.  The problem is her health is deteriorating daily.   We had a shower for our son and fiancé on Saturday and I’m not even sure how she made it to the shower.   Last night she fell and I had to pick her up.  We are to the point that we don’t think she can continue to live with us like this.  One option is to hire someone to help her.  But she doesn’t want to spend the money.  Don’t get that.  The 2nd option is to move her to a nursing home.  We really don’t want to do that but we are unable to care for her.  What a mess.  The sandwich generation is a real thing.

Relationships

The past two weeks I found out that two friends were no longer married to their spouse.  I also heard a podcast where another famous Christian author lost his marriage.  I'm not here to judge anyone.  But does make me sad.  What good does being in ministry if you can't make your marriage work? Just really bummed hearing about these men. 

Culture

There is a lot of talk about culture in society.  What about the culture of an organization?  I've been a part of some toxic environments.  The sad thing is many of them were churches and religious organizations.   If Jesus has transformed our lives, why doesn't the culture look like that?

This week I got to serve at GROW 19.  It is a conference that Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, Alabama puts on every year to help pastors grow their church.  The secret to Highlands is prayer and culture.   I'm not naive to believe that it is a perfect environment.  Nowhere this side of heaven is perfect.  But the culture is contagious.  We had hundreds of Dream Teamers (volunteers) giving of their time to serve almost 4000 pastors.  I am passionate about serving at Grow because I was one of the desperate pastors 12 years ago.  

What the pastors and staff find when they visit Highlands is that there is a healthy culture.  Perfect, by no means.  But healthy, yes.  Trust me, I know the difference.  I've been a part of 4 church splits.  One as a child and three as a staff member.  One of those splits was a mutiny.   In unhealthy cultures, the staff and members don't work together.   They are territorial.  The last church I pastored, I had groups formed to get rid of me.  They met in the back of a local restaurant with stacks of complaints about me.  I don't want to make it sound like I'm perfect either.  I'm sure I was the cause of some unhealthiness at places I served. 

When we joined Highlands the excellence and culture was what attracted us.  It is a church that is truly about going after the lost.   It excites me every time I enter the doors or go out monthly serving at the Dream Center.  Thursday was my birthday.  I'm not one who cares about being noticed.  I didn't tell anyone on the team I was serving at Grow that it was my birthday.  But one of my friends who is on staff at the church wished me a happy birthday because he saw it on Facebook.  Next thing I know the whole team I was serving with is singing happy birthday.

Several of my co-workers called and wished me a happy birthday.  Then someone from the ministry I serve at called.  When I saw it I just assumed he was calling to wish me a happy birthday.  That was a bad assumption.  He wanted to know why I had not done my monthly reports.  I always get my reports in on time but they recently changed the date of our deadline and I thought it was the 1st not the last day of the month.   Nothing was said about my birthday or even asked about my family.  Let's just say, it was a contrast of two cultures.  Thankful that I can be part of a healthy culture at church.  That is more than most people can say.

Guarantees

They only guarantee in life is that we will spend eternity somewhere.  I've come to learn that nothing else is guaranteed.  Loyalty sure isn't.  I was disappointed again today.  I shouldn't be surprised.  This isn't the first time they have done this.  I won't go into the details by chance they read this. This has nothing to do with my family or friends.  I guess being faithful and giving all you have means nothing.  Disappointment is just a part of life.  I'm sure I will get over this tomorrow and probably after I post this.  It just stinks especially when it hurts someone you care about.  Three times I'm out.

Making sense

I'm a high-capacity person.  I can handle juggling many things at one time.  Yet, this is a time where not much is expected of me.  My wife is slammed.  She is staying up to 2 and 3 in the morning working.  I could handle it fine yet I'm in place of boredom.  She, on the other hand, is overwhelmed.  I don't get it some times.  I wish I could reverse it.

The Process

I grew up in Tuscaloosa so I'm a big Alabama football fan.  Coach Nick Saban has been the coach for over a decade and we have seen 5 football national championships.   Coach Saban is known for "THE PROCESS."  He got the process from Dr. Kevin Elko.  The process doesn't look for wins or losses but to become the best person or team you can be.  The idea is if you follow the process the wins will follow. 

I wrote yesterday about being bored vocationally.  The good news is it has given me a lot of time to work on my D.Min classes.  The other benefit is it has molded me.   I always am moving and going.  I've had to just wait.  I don't like to wait.  I like control.  There, I said it.  I like to control my own destiny.  But for the first time in my life I have no resumes out.  I am talking to no churches or organizations.  I'm just being.  I don't pretend to understand what is going on.  I guess I need to focus on being the best me I can be.   I need to work the process.

Boredom

What do you do when you have done everything that is expected of your job and more and yet still are bored?  I have written extensively about the changes in my job over the last two years.  I love meeting people and helping them.  I liked that part of my job from the beginning.  I also liked it when I had the chance to lead a team of people.  I created leadership lessons and enjoyed seeing them grow.   Now the only one I'm leading is me.  I'm just bored.  O well.  Why couldn't I still have a leadership position and the opportunity to minister too? 

Serve Day Everyday

Our church does a Serve Day every July.  Our pastor says this is the one day he wants everyone who considers Church of the Highlands home to serve on this one day.  If you have read my blog enough you know that I eat, breathe and sleep outreach.  I found the Dream Center a few years ago.  Well, actually it found me.  I'm an adjunct professor at Highlands College.  One of my first students 5 years ago asked for prayer for an outreach he was doing at the Dream Center.  I asked if he needed help and he said sure.  I had the privilege of leading a few students to Christ that day.  I was hooked and went every time he had that outreach. 

The next May I was going through Step 4 of the Highlands Growth Track for the 5th time because I was going to start serving on the Online Campus Dream Team.  While I was there the student who was now on staff at the Dream Center named Kevin Farmer was at the Dream Center table with Pastor Jamil, the Woodlawn Campus pastor.  Jamil's wife worked at Highlands College and we knew each other.  They recruited me to go to the Dream Center and serve on one of the Saturday serves.  I went to the next one that happened to fall on the 2nd Saturday of the month.  I went out to this community called Kingston.  I sat back an observed as our team went door to door passing out groceries and inviting people to a block party.  After we knocked on a few doors I began speaking up to the people we were interacting with.

Next thing you know I had the opportunity to lead 2 or 3 people to Christ.  One of the Outreach people looked at me and said, "this is your first time?"  I said I'm kind of a ringer. lol.  I was hooked.  I kept coming back and said that I just wanted to go every month but didn't want to be on the leadership team.  Well, Robby Johnson wouldn't take no for an answer and so I've been serving as a Door-to-door leader for over 4 years. 

What I've learned is that God has given me a gift.  I don't know how to explain it.  It is not me.  I'm not a great salesman.  I'm an ok communicator.  But put me in an opportunity to share Jesus with people and the Holy Spirit kicks in.  So, Saturday our small group went with my team on Serve Day.  We saw 13 people give their lives to Christ just on our team!  Wow!  Serve Day is awesome, but serve day is every day.  I don't want to just minister on one day a year.  I want to share Jesus every day!

Random Thoughts

Last week was a busy one.  Lots of stuff going on in our household.  Life has challenges for even the best of families.  Not sure why God wants us to have some of the stress on us but it could be worse.  Vocationally, life is in a standstill.  I've never been more bored.  First time since I graduated from UAB that I'm not in a leadership position.  Why would God have me so passionate about leadership and not have me in a leadership position?  Not sure but maybe it is a time of humbling.  It sure has been.  Granted, I did this on my own but I couldn't do the leadership that was presented.  Nothing morally wrong with it.  Just wasn't for me and my family.   I pray James 1:5 and other wisdom verses every day.  Not sure how wise I'm becoming.  I'm having quality and meaningful devotion times.  I'm pretty fit physically.  We aren't broke.  Not rich either.   I don't know what's next.  We shall see.

Yes Lord

I wonder how many times God has spoken to me and I missed it?   I want to be so in tune with the Holy Spirit that when God tells me something I not only hear it but I jump and say yes.  In Acts 9 Saul was busy persecuting the church.  Jesus blinded Saul and sent him to a godly man named Ananias.  When Jesus called Ananias, he said "Yes Lord."  That is because he was used to hearing from God.  I have heard God's voice on many occasions.  Not audibly, but make no mistake, it was from God.  Do I always say yes Lord?  I'd like to say yes but I'm sure I have missed Him.  I want to hear more and see more.

Unless someone explains?

This week has been a crazy one.  My mother in law just got out of the hospital rehab yesterday so my writing has been limited.  Today I was studying in Acts 8.  Philip was led by the Holy Spirit to share the Gospel with an Ethiopian Eunuch.  I noticed a few things.  First, Philip allowed the Spirit to lead him.  Second, the Eunuch was reading from the Old Testament and had just come from worship.  This leads me to believe the Eunuch was seeking.  We need to always look for what God is doing in the lives of others.  What really struck me was when Philip asked the Eunuch what did the passage that he was reading mean?  In Acts 8:31 (NIV) it says, 

How can I, he said, unless someone explains it to me?

How many people are out there for us to explain what the Bible has to say?

All Things

Romans 8:28 (NIV) says, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I truly believe this.  But it isn't a quick fix.  God works all things but in his timing.  We are in one of those stuck times.  We had to move my wife's mom in with us 2 years ago.  To say it has been stressful has been an understatement.  She doesn't treat me badly but she is horrible to my wife who cares for her anyway.  She had to go to the hospital in extreme pain last week and we were afraid they were going to send her back with us and we weren't prepared for the condition she is in.  God did do a miraculous thing by getting her in a rehab hospital.  But she is acting crazy there.  We don't know what to do.  We are trying to honor God by caring for her but don't know if we can anymore.  Maybe the rehab will help.  It did last time.  But last time we saw vast improvement.  We have not seen any this time.  She looks pretty bad.   We physically and emotionally don't know how much we can do.  God will have to step in.  That is probably where he wants us anyway.

Follow

I've mentioned this many times on this blog for all one of you who read it that I read a lot of leadership books and listen to a lot of leadership podcasts.  I took an organizational leadership class this spring where the professor argued against leadership and more on followership.  I struggled with his view but have gone a little more to his side than before.  The reason is everywhere I read about Jesus calling his disciples he tells them to "Follow Him."  I don't see anywhere where Jesus said go be leaders.  In John 21, the disciples tried to go back to their old lives.  Jesus wasn't having anything with it because He called them to follow Him.   He had them haul in a huge load of fish.  To me, He was showing them that they would be fishers of men as He had told them before.  He also told Peter three times to follow Him.  He didn't tell him to lead.  He said to follow.  I realize when I'm leading Jesus can't.

Stop doubting and believe

Yesterday things looked pretty bleak.  We were told there was no way that our mother in law could go to rehab.  She had to have an epidural first.  But her doctor did not come to the hospital even though the buildings are connected.  We were going to have to bring my mother in law home without any way of caring for her in the condition she was in. 

The day before in my devotion time God told me she would not be coming home.  I don't know if that was permanent or just for a short time.  Then when we got the news she had to come with us I felt I missed what God had told me.  You can believe me if you want but I clearly heard him in my prayer time. 

Then my wife went to the hospital yesterday expecting to have to bring her mom home.  My wife is weary and we had no idea how we were going to care for her.  She needs an adjustable bed and we don't have one.  Then my wife called and said a miracle happened.  Somehow her doctor decided to take her in his office even though she needed to be free of antibiotics for a week.  Not sure what happened.  Also, rehab was taking her that night.

You can believe what you want but this was a miracle.  This doesn't solve all of our problems.   But God showed me that I need to stop doubting and believe.  We were told there was nothing that the doctors or hospital could do.  But God could.

Stuck

Ever felt stuck?  This week has been one of the hardest in the last 2 years.  Mother in law's health is getting worse.  Wife's job is in a demanding season.  Mother in law had to go to the hospital because she refused to let my wife take care of health concerns.  Hospital wants to send her home today.  We have no way of caring for her.  My issues with ministry are complicated.  Confused.  Not sure why God is allowing the things in my areas of ministry to go on.  Is God done using me?  I don't get it.  Not even sure why I'm bothering to do get D.Min and going to the other ministry school I'm enrolled in.  We were supposed to refinance the house the day my mother in law went into the hospital.  Maybe God doesn't want us to.  Maybe we are supposed to move.  Need wisdom.

Greater Things

I haven't blogged much this week because I just finished a 17-page research paper for my D.Min.  But I have been writing and keeping up my Rule of Five.  This morning I was reading in John 14:12 (NIV),

Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 

It got me to thinking.  Have I really seen "Greater Things?"  I've seen great things.  I've seen people's lives changed and marriages saved.  I've even seen healing.  All of those are amazing.  But have I seen people raised from the dead?  Have I seen limbs grow back or blind receiving their sight?  Maybe I've relied more on my power and not enough on God's power.  My prayer today is that I see greater things.

Lord if you had been there

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead.  Other than Jesus, there are not many people who can say they died and rose again.  Of course, Jesus is the only one who never died permanently except for two in the Old Testament who never died.  But that is a whole nother subject. 

In John 11 Jesus hears that his "friend" Lazarus is sick.  You would think if Jesus healed a bunch of strangers he would jump at the chance to save his friend's life.  But Jesus hears the news about Lazarus and stays an extra 2 days.  The thing is Jesus knows what he is about to do.  He has a plan but no one else knows about it.   Lazarus' sisters were Mary and Martha and they were very close to Jesus.  One would expect Jesus would heal Lazarus just for them.  I would imagine after Lazarus died their faith was rocked.  They knew Jesus could heal their brother. Finally, Jesus gets there.  Lazarus was in the tomb for 4 days and the Hebrews believed by this point it was impossible for someone to rise from the dead.

I love John 11:32

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

Mary and Martha knew Jesus had the power to heal their brother but he didn't.  I've felt that way.  I know Jesus has the power to do things but for whatever reason, He chose not to.   But this story ends well when Jesus heals their brother.  He had the power all along but chose to wait so he could do something greater.  Maybe that will happen soon in my life.

With friends like this who needs enemies

I'm amazed at how vicious social media has become.  The sad thing is how Christians rip each other.  Sunday, Pastor David Platt was asked to pray for President Trump at the last minute.  Platt agreed and then was roasted by Christians from all sides.  Some said Platt shouldn't have prayed for him.  Some were upset that Platt sent out an explanation as to why he did pray for him.  Jerry Falwell Jr. actually said something crude about Platt on Twitter.  What is our world coming to?  Christians tearing each other apart?  Why?  Christians should be praying for each other and supporting one another.  Instead, this gives the non-Christian community more reason to stay away.  We can do better.

Spirit without limit

I was studying in John 3 this morning and I read something I had never noticed before.  Naturally, John 3:16 gets all of the publicity from this passage.  But in verse 34 it says that God gives the Spirit without limit.  What I'm not sure is if this is only for Jesus or is this for all Christians?  I pray God gives me more of the Holy Spirit and it is without limit.

After

I don't know about anyone else but I don't like to wait.  I jump on everything early. I have written my last three research papers way earlier than they were due.  I've already written the forum posts for my class this summer.  I just don't want to wait.  But unfortunately, you have to wait for some things.  Especially in the Christian life.  In John 2 it says that the disciples didn't realize until after Jesus died what some of his sayings meant.  I wonder if the holding pattern I've been in the last few weeks will become clear one day. 

You will see greater things than that

I started studying the book of John this morning.  I love how Jesus calls his disciples.  When Nathanael was asked to join the group by Philip he thought what good thing could ever come from Nazareth.   Then Jesus called him by name and Nathanael wondered how Jesus knew who he was and Jesus said I saw you under the tree.  Of course, that spooked Nathanael as it would any of us.  He believed Jesus because of this.  I love what Jesus says in John 1:50b.

You will see greater things than that.

It got me thinking if Jesus just meant that for them or will we see even greater things today?  I hear stories of miracles happening on the foreign mission field.  I've heard of legs growing back and even people raised from the dead.  I've heard the voice of God fairly regularly the last few years but don't know if I've seen the greater things.  Was it just for the disciples?  That doesn't appear to be so.  Because Jesus said it was for our benefit that he leaves.  He promised us the Holy Spirit.  Since God's Spirit lives in me then I should experience Greater things.

Open our eyes and mind

As I was doing my Bible study in Luke 24 I noticed that after Jesus was resurrected that the disciples did not know it was Jesus until he opened their eyes and their minds.  My prayer is that He opens my eyes and mind daily.

Make up your mind beforehand

When you are put under pressure that is not the time to decide how you will react or behave.  Athletes know this.  The reason some people are so clutch is they have practiced so much and decided how they will respond under pressure.  Jesus taught this to His disciples in Luke 21.  He told the disciples in Luke 21:14:

But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves.

The time to decide how you will act is before it happens.

Small Things

I am a dreamer.  When I dream I don't dream about small things.  But almost everything that has gotten big started small.  Usually, those who explode with growth quickly aren't able to withstand the pressure.  That is sad.  That is probably why God's plan is to give us small things to see if we are ready for the bigger things He wants to give us.  In Luke 19 Jesus tells a story of a ruler who gave his servants 10 minas.  That is the equivalent of 3 month's wages.  The first servant made 10 more and the 2nd made 5 more.  Unfortunately, the 3rd hid his and didn't earn anything.  I love what Jesus tells the first servant in Luke 19:17,

Well done, my good servant!’ his master replied. ‘Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.

I wonder how often I am trustworthy in the small things?  Maybe I'm in the desert season right now is because he is testing me for the small things.  May I learn.

What do you want me to do for you?

As I was studying in Luke 18 this morning there were a lot of takeaways.  The one that stuck out the most was there was a beggar who was blind and cried out to Jesus.  Now, Jesus is all knowing.  So I find this statement kind of funny.   Luke 18:41 says,

What do you want me to do for you?

Why would Jesus ask someone what they wanted from Him when He already knew?  Maybe because He wants us to keep asking.  In Luke 18:42 Jesus said,

Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.

God can do whatever He wants.  I think God wants us to ask and vocalize it. 

Waiting

I'm not a very patient person.  I'm early for almost all appointments.  If I'm late there is probably a good reason.  I don't like waiting in my spiritual life either.  It seems like God has had me waiting a lot over the last few years.   Not sure why but I've been in a stall or even going backward.  I guess God has a sense of humor.  I know I'll know what is happening one day but today it is hard.

Everything I have is yours

Today my Bible study was again in Luke 15.  I studied the story of the loving father, the prodigal son and the older brother.  This passage is probably one of the most preached passages.  I can always relate to the older brother because I was never a rebellious person.  I'm sure if you went by being a good person I'm pretty good.  But the reality is no one is good.  I have my own flaws and sins that just some don't see.  I have to deal with pride because I have checked off a lot of boxes.  As I have grown my love for God has grown because He has seen it in is grace to mold me.  Some of the molding--well all of the molding has been difficult.  I wish you could become mature as a Christian the moment you give your life to Him. 

The older son was upset that the younger son blew all of his inheritance on prostitutes and wild living.  I have to admit there are times I rank sins.  That is a sin because it comes from pride and arrogance.  My sins are an abomination in the eyes of God.  I truly wish I wasn't that way.  I have been guilty of comparing.  But my sin caused Jesus to go the cross to pay for them.  I'm truly sorry for that.  My pride and Phariseeism can bet out of hand.  Thankfully, Jesus forgives me.  The older son didn't want to celebrate when his brother came back.  That is a story in itself.  Then the father confronted the older brother and said why aren't you at the party?  The older brother rattled off all of the junk his brother had done.  I've been there and done that. 

I love what the father tells him in Luke 15:31

My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.

Wow, when I think about that statement I'm humbled.  I have everything that God has.  When Jesus left earth the Father gave us the Holy Spirit.  Which means I have God living in me.  So I really do have everything.  I just need to remind myself that daily.  No, every minute.

Until he/she finds it

Jesus is all about ministering to sinners.  That is good because I am one.  In Luke 15 the tax collectors and sinners gathered around Him.  How many sinners want to be around Christians today?  Probably not as many I would like to know.  I hope that people feel comfortable around me.  Jesus told them three stories.  The third is the prodigal son and I will be studying it tomorrow.  But today I noticed that two objects were lost.  The first was a sheep and the second was a coin.  Jesus said any shepherd would leave the 99 sheep to go after one.  A woman lost a coin that was important to her even though she had 9 others.  In both stories, Jesus said they looked frantically for both objects.  I love how Jesus says that they looked until he/she found it.  Isn't it great to know that is how God pursues us?  I think that is why I'm passionate about going after the lost.

Closes the door

In Luke 13 Jesus was asked if only a few people would be saved?  Jesus told them to make every effort to go through the narrow door.  Then He said something that drives me to share the Gospel any time I get a chance.  Luke 15:25 says,

Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Sir, open the door for us.’ (emphasis mine)

We don't know when Jesus is going to close the door.  That is why I share my faith consistently.  I don't want to see anyone being left out.

Much given--much expected

It's easy to complain and whine about minor things in life.  The reality is that we have it made in the US.  I have a house and a car to drive and I never worry about eating.  I have medical care regardless of how much it costs.  I have been given much.  I've also been given a lot spiritually.  God has gifted me with gifts I don't even understand.  God has given me a supernatural gift to share the gospel with people.  Usually when I share it leads to a decision.  It is not anything I've done.  It is all what God does through me.  I'm not that gifted naturally but I am supernaturally.  Jesus said in Luke 12:48b,

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

That is why I'm driven to serve.  I can't explain it.  It is a calling and I'm afraid if I don't use the gifts that God has entrusted to me that He will take them and give them to someone who will use them.  The last 2 years have been very confusing.  I have had to deal with stupid drama.  I'm sure I'm guilty of contributing to it.  I've been working on keeping my mouth shut and just serving.  God has given me so much and I want to use it for His glory.

Social Justice

It is interesting to me that lots of people from my former denomination are arguing over social justice.  I don't understand that.  Why would a follower of Jesus not be for social justice?  I am a white male who has been given much.  I was raised not to be prejudiced but I know it is is in me.  When I pastored a church in Charlotte, NC we did a demographic study around the church.  We found that there were 50% African Americans within 5 miles of the church and we had ZERO in our church. That bothered me.  I lived in a nice subdivision and our two next door neighbors were African American.  My children's best friends were African American.  Yet, I would say they were not welcomed at our church.  My student minister and I were convicted and started inviting the community to the church.  You know what happened?  They started coming.  In fact, it started that Sunday.  We had at least 20 students that came to the student ministry.  We had an African American couple visit our Sunday School class.  I led them to Christ and they wanted to join the church.  I'll never forget the anxiousness I felt as they came to the front of the church to let the church know the decision they made.  It should have been a time of rejoicing.  But, I was nervous because I wasn't sure how our church would react.  Isn't that horrible? 

To the church's credit, they voted this couple in.  However, the backroom gossip and complaints began.  Our deacons, personnel committee, and church council called for a special meeting to discuss the "State of the Church."  The concern was over the African Americans that were coming to our church.  I told them that our church had 3 options:  One was to reach our community,  which was my desire.  The second was to relocate and let a church that would reach the community to do so, which I was willing to do.  The third was that the church would die.   For the next two or three hours, the people in that room went at each other.  These were long-time friends.  Some of them wanted to reach the community.  Others did but didn't want the baggage that it came with.  And some just let it be known that they didn't want that in the church.  I looked over at my student minister and he was fuming. 

I left that meeting depressed.  I told my wife that I couldn't lead a racist church.  So we prayed and decided that I would resign after our mission trip.  There was one more New Orleans Missions Trip that I was leading in 2 months and our son was going.  Our student minister was also going.  The next morning I met my student minister at Starbucks like we often did.  I told him that he should be looking for another ministry position.  He had this look in his eyes I will never forget.  He said I've already been offered another position.  We both decided to finish the mission trip and both resign.  The problem for me was I had no job to go to.  The mission trip was awesome.  The next Monday was right before Thanksgiving and 2 deacons came to talk to me.  My plan was to resign after Thanksgiving.  They brought up the problems in the church.  Mainly the changes I had brought.  I'm sure some of the problems were my fault.  I did bring in drastic changes.  The other problem was the new people that were coming in.  In other words, African Americans.  I was appalled!  Somehow the talk went to having someone else taking over the church.  So, I resigned on the spot.

I'm not hero and I won't be talked about in any social justice discussions.  But this was my experience and I can't believe in 2019 Christians are arguing over social justice.  Of course, we should be concerned with the plight of others.  Look what Jesus said in Luke 11:42

“Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone.

How can any follower of Jesus neglect justice?  I can't believe what I'm hearing from Christians.   If we love God, then we should care. 

Resolutely

I've watched the movie National Treasure over a dozen times.  I love the passion that Nicolas Cage had about everything to do with the US.  One scene I remember was when they were trying to figure out one of the clues about the Charlotte.  Cage said that what was written was "resolute" which meant it was firm, absolute and unwavering.

As I was reading in Luke 9 this morning a verse stood out to me.  Of course Luke 9:23 is one I quote often about taking up my cross daily.  But this morning Luke 9:51 hit a chord.  It says:

As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem.

Think about this.  Jesus knew He was going to Jerusalem for one reason and one reason only--to die.  Yet Jesus didn't waver.  He "RESOLUTELY" went to His death for me.  Powerful.

Nothing is an accident

I was covering for our pastoral team at church while they were on a staff retreat.  After my shift, I went to see my wife at one of the other campuses of our church.  I was about to leave when a man walked into that campus needing someone to talk to.  My wife let him know that the pastors and staff were on a retreat. He asked if he could go to the main campus.  My wife asked what he needed?  He said he needed some to talk to about grief.  She looked at me and said to the man I don't think it is an accident that you are here right now.  She introduced me and I talked to him.  I don't believe in accidents.

Even Sinners

I was reading in Luke 6 today.  Jesus taught some strong messages in this chapter.  What stood out to me this morning was how Jesus said we are to treat people.  It is easy to love those who love us.  Jesus said that even sinners do that.  Jesus wants us to love our enemies.  He said to do good to them.  Ouch!  How often do I get upset and hurt when I'm mistreated rather than pray and love them? 

Could not find a way

I was studying Luke 5 this morning and there was a paralyzed man who had his friends bring him to Jesus.  They "couldn't find a way" to get to Jesus so they went on top of the roof and cut a hole in the roof and lowered the man in.  How passionate am I to see people come to Christ that I will find a way to get them to Jesus?

Power & Authority

As I was reading in Luke 4 this morning I kept seeing how the people were amazed that Jesus spoke with authority and power.  Not only that but he healed and drove out demons because he had authority and power.  What I felt the Holy Spirit telling me was that I have that same power and authority at my disposal.  Not because I'm special or gifted but because I have the Holy Spirit in me.  So, do I really minister in Jesus' authority and power?  Probably not like I should.  Have I driven out a demon?  No, but my dad has numerous times.  Have I seen someone healed when I prayed and laid hands on them?  Yes, a few times.  But I wonder how much more God could do if I just had faith. 

You never know who is watching

Yesterday I responded to a pastor friend's Twitter post about the legalistic and mean tweets that some misguided people have responded to a prominent feminist Christian writer who died.  What I feel about her beliefs don't really matter at this time.  There is no reason to qualify them at a time like this.  What we should say is that we are sorry for her family's loss and we will be praying for them.  Period.

My pastor friend posted a horrible response to her passing.  It was actually very mean.  I responded that it is no wonder there are many who don't go to church.  I had no idea that a friend from high school saw my response.  He responded to me and my pastor friend that this is why he hasn't been to church in 40 years.  Ouch.  I wonder if my legalism drove him away when we were in high school.  I was a Pharisee.  I hate to think about how I was back then.  In this age of social media, you never know who is watching. 

Christians, (ME THE MOST), think about what you say and post.  Eternity does hang on the brink.

How?

I was reading in Luke 1 this morning.  When Mary heard from the Angel that she would become pregnant she wanted to know how?  She was a virgin so it was impossible for her to be pregnant.  How many times have I asked God how?  How am I going to be a good parent or husband?  How can I pay this bill?  How can I be a minister?  How? The Angel told her that she would become pregnant through the Holy Spirit.  The only way I can do anything in my life is through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Can't save Himself

I was reading in Mark 15 this morning.  In vs 31 the chief priests and teachers of the law mocked Jesus and said: "but He can't save Himself."  This is true and false.  It is false because Jesus could have come down at any time and saved Himself.  But it is false because He couldn't save Himself or maybe it should say He "WOULDN'T" save Himself.  Thank God He didn't try to save Himself.  He had to be crucified to pay for "MY" sins.

Overwhelmed

I don't know anyone who hasn't felt overwhelmed at some point in their life.   In Mark 14:34 Jesus was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.  Jesus was and is God, but He gave up much of His power while on earth to identify with us.  What I noticed while reading this passage is that if Jesus, who is God, was overwhelmed it is not uncommon for me to be overwhelmed.  Maybe God allows us to be overwhelmed so that we depend and cry out to God.  Jesus even prayed three times to take away the pain that he was about to endure.

Assigned task?

I was studying in Mark 13 today and it was about when Jesus comes back to earth.  There is so much of this I don't understand.  But there were two parts that I get.  First, Jesus said to watch and then keep watch.  My job as a Christian is to always be ready for Jesus to come again.  The second part that I found interesting was that Jesus said I need to be busy doing my assigned task. In Mark 13:34 Jesus said just like a man who puts his servants in charge with their assigned task.  I felt God was telling me I just need to do what He has asked and assigned me to do.  It is not my job to worry about other Christians and make suggestions (or complaints) about what they are doing or not doing.  I need to watch and do what God has assigned to me.

Everything?

Everywhere I read in the New Testament Jesus expected his disciples to give all they had to follow Him.  He said to take up our cross and follow Him.  That means death.  He told the rich young ruler to sell all he had and give it to the poor and follow him.  The early church sold all they had and gave it away to help the early church.  In Acts, it says they met together and there were no needy people among them.  What happened?  Do we see that now?  I live in a nice house and drive a nice car.  If I want food I go to the grocery store or buy at a restaurant.  We have so many choices yet we still think we have nothing.  Yet, there are starving people all over the world.  It is embarrassing to see some of the ways Christians in America claim we are being persecuted.  Last I saw no one has been martyred for their faith in the US.  Everything?  Do I really give God everything? 

Doubt vs belief?

Jesus told the disciples that if they believed they would receive whatever they asked for in prayer.  (Mark 11:24 NIV).  The key is to not doubt & believe.  Some have misinterpreted this as a name it claim it theology.  That isn't what Jesus is talking about here.  When we pray we must pray for God's will to be done through this.  There have been several things that God has shown me in prayer that would happen.  In fact, my wife told me one over 3 1/2 years ago.  None of it has happened--yet.  It would be easy to become discouraged and I have.  But I have to remind myself that I just have to have a little faith.  One man said I believe, help my unbelief.  That is what I need.  God, I believe, help my unbelief.

What must I do vs Your faith

I was studying in Mark 10 today.  There was a rich man who asked Jesus what he must do to gain eternal life.  That is the wrong question.  None of us can do anything.  Jesus did it all when He paid our ransom on the cross.  (Mark 10:45).  Then Bartimaeus begged Jesus to heal him.  People tried to keep him from Jesus but he begged even louder.  Jesus then healed him and said your faith has healed you. (Mark 10:52).  So what part do we play?  The reality is none of us are capable of saving ourselves.   But we must have faith in the one who can.

Only by prayer

Today I was studying in Mark 9.  The disciples had been sent out by Jesus on other occasions and had been able to do miracles and drive out demons.  Yet on this occasion when Jesus came back from His transfiguration the disciples were unable to drive out a demon from a boy.  The boy's father asked Jesus if He could.  Jesus said, " ‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes."  (Mark 9:23 NIV )I wonder how many times I doubt what God can do even though I've seen Him do amazing things before me.  I love what the man said,  Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24 NIV).

Jesus removed the demon from the young boy and the disciples asked why they couldn't drive it out.  Jesus said, “This kind can come out only by prayer.” (Mark 9:29 NIV).  It got me to thinking about how much I really pray about everything?  I've tried to get better to pray throughout the day.  But am I missing out on things because I really didn't pray?  

Don't you remember?

How many times has Jesus bailed me out of situations?   I could tell so many stories.  Yet, when I get in a jam and don't think I can't get out what do I do?  Just like most of us, I worry.  Years ago, I started writing down the God moments or spiritual markers that Henry Blackaby describes.  Why?  Because I need to remind myself that God has always been there and he always will be. 

In Mark 8 Jesus wants to feed 4000 people because they had been with him for 3 days.  The disciples acted like most of us would and said where are we going to find enough food to feed that many people?  4000 only included the men so likely there were 12,000 people.  But don't they remember when Jesus fed the 5000 men (likely 15,000 people)?  Jesus got frustrated with the disciples and asked them in Mark 8:18 (NIV)  "don't you remember?"

I wonder how many times Jesus thinks that of me?  He takes care of me so often and I still worry the next time an insurmountable obstacle comes my way.  People often say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  I think that is a lie from the devil.  I think God gives us things we can't handle so we will depend on Him.  The devil wants us to rely on ourselves.  God wants us to rely on Him!

Restless

I don't know why but I am very restless today.  But I've been restless for at least a year.  Life threw some things my way that I wasn't ready for.  I almost feel like I can't catch my breath.  I can't focus and my mind goes everywhere.  I'm ADD so that is not unusual.  But it has seemed more than normal.  We have lived back in Birmingham for almost 11 years.  We hardly stayed anywhere for more than 3 years for most of our marriage.  Not sure what is going on.  I felt a need to leave my position at our church serving on our Online Dream Team to go to the Woodlawn campus.  I begin there next Sunday.  As of today, I have 388 days until I'm done with Highlands College and 599 days until I'm hopefully done with my D.Min from Luther Rice. 

The grader for one of the classes really liked my 22-page paper the other day and said that I should consider doing a Ph.D.  I don't know if I can take another 3-4 years of college.  I can't believe I've been able to handle the load I've been taking.   I must be crazy.  I wonder if I will be stuck in the restless wilderness for years. 

Tap on the shoulder

This morning I did not have to be anywhere before 9 so I didn't set my alarm.  I woke up about 6:30 and decided to go back to sleep.  I was awakened at 6:40 with someone tapping on my shoulder.   I looked next to me and my wife was sound asleep.  I have been hearing a lot from God so I took this as a sign to get up right then.  Still not sure why this happened yet.  But maybe God wanted me to leave earlier and miss a bad accident or something.  I did read in Mark 6 about Jesus walking on the water.  It says he was about to pass them by.  I always thought that was for us to not let Jesus walk by us...in other words, always bee looking around.  But I discovered that term was used to mean that God was about to show His glory.  Pretty cool.

Just believe

My favorite secular band is Journey.  They wrote a song 40 years ago that is still popular today and played in many sporting venues called "Don't stop believing."  There are times when it is hard to believe.  A loved one is sick, dying or already has died.  Finances are so messed up it is impossible to see any hope.  In Mark 5 a Synagogue leader named Jairus came to Jesus and asked him to help.  Things had to be pretty bad for a Hebrew religious leader to come to Jesus.  He wanted Jesus to heal his daughter.  Jesus told him just to believe.  How often is the answer to my problem my own faith?   I don't think God gives us enough to handle.  I think He gives us more so we will depend on Him.  If we could handle things, why would we need God?  So I wonder how my own faith determines what God does?

God's Will

God's will is not something we seek.  It is something we do.  I don't know how many times I've been guilty of seeking God's will.  The reality is God has given us His will. It is to love God and love people.  It is is to pray without ceasing.  We don't find God's will we do what He asks us.

Faith

We hear about faith a lot.  But do we really know what faith is?  Do I really have faith?  I say I do but sometimes I wonder.  I was studying Mark 2 today and Jesus was speaking to some people and there were so many people that they couldn't get in the house or even outside.  I guess that was the first church with overflow.  I do notice that where ever Jesus went there were crowds.  So, those who think Megachurches are evil might want to read the Bible.

But what struck me today was how four men did whatever they could to get to Jesus.  Not for them, but for their friend who couldn't walk.  They wouldn't be stopped.  They couldn't get through the crowd so they went on top of the house and dug a hole in the roof.  I wonder what the homeowner thought?  How would you explain that to your insurance agent?  Jesus saw their faith and forgave the man of his sins.  Not his faith, their faith!  He then healed the man to show his authority.  So, I wonder how often my faith changes the lives of others? 

Authority

I was doing my Bible Study in Mark 1 this morning.  I noticed that as Jesus began His ministry that people were drawn to His preaching because He had authority.  Some people think they have authority because of a position.  But the reality is that our authority comes from God.  There is nothing special about me.  Yet, through the power of the Holy Spirit, I have authority.  Jesus healed people, cast out demons and did miracles.   If I have that same Holy Spirit, why am I not expecting the same?  Convicting. 

People would rather make up lies than believe the truth

As I was reading about the resurrection of Jesus in Matthew 28 I noticed that the Jewish religious leaders would do anything to discredit Jesus.  They mocked him and said they would believe him if he came down from the cross.  Well, anyone who is able to come back from the dead is more powerful than someone who is alive and can prevent death.  They didn't want to know the truth.  They were worried more about their positions rather than truth.  How often do I deceive myself into believing something rather than admitting the truth?

He gave no answer

I have a pretty quick mind and unfortunately mouth.  I can't tell you how many times I've stuck my foot in my mouth and said things I regretted.   I've gotten better as I have gotten older but because my mind thinks of witty things to say it comes out.  I have worked to have better self-control.   When I was reading in Matthew 27 as false accusations, insults and physical harm came to Jesus, He remained silent.  That is rather convicting in a social media world where everyone thinks they have been persecuted.  We don't know persecution in the US.  I pray that I will learn just to let things go and not always feel the need to defend myself or those whom I care about.

Changes

Have you ever felt like some changes were in order?  I've sensed God doing some things in my heart for the last few months.  Well, actually over a year.  I acted on some of the leadings this weekend.  Not sure what exactly I will be doing but excited to see what God is going to do.

Listening day 1

I'm not sure which Google Bot will be reading this today.  So, it may only be me who reads what I'm writing.  Yesterday, I felt God telling me just to listen for a week.  I prayed much differently today.  I did pray for others but I did not pray for anything for me.  I just listened.  I felt God telling me not to listen to any books or podcasts today.  I sensed I was to worship and listen.  It is 8:42 AM as I write this.  I sensed God telling me I needed to have my eyes open and ears to hear and that He would give me a ministry opportunity today.  So, I will be leaving here in a few minutes expectant.

Small Groups

Our church is the 2nd largest in the US right behind Lifechurch.  Megachurches aren't for everyone.  I do think they get a bad rap.  Churches of all size are needed.  We enjoy our church because there are so many ministry opportunities available.  Some say that megachurches are impersonal.  I guess that can be true.  But I've been to small churches where not one person spoke to me.  At our church, I promise that you will be greeted by at least 10 people. 

What makes our church small and intimate is small groups.  Now the negative of small groups is that you have to make time away from Sunday services to attend.  We do not have a traditional Sunday School.  You have to make an effort to attend.  But what I love about our small group is that we have people who attend that I would have never met or become friends with.  It is an eclectic group.  That is a good thing.  We have two former pastors (me included) and a bunch of business professionals.  We have some who have been married for many years to the same person and those who have been married several times.  I learn from them about my own prejudices and points of view.  I think that is what God wants.  We need to get out of our own bubble and get stretched.

Follow me

In Matthew 19 a rich man came to Jesus to see what he needed to enter heaven.  People of that day believed the rich were blessed beyond the poor.  He really wanted to build up his own ego.  Jesus told him to keep the commandments.  He asked Jesus which ones?  The Pharisees had added 635 extra laws beyond what God had.  Jesus said to keep a few laws.  The man believed he had and said I've kept all of these what else must I do?   Jesus said to sell everything and give it to the poor and then you will find treasure in heaven.  The man walked away.  Jesus told the man to follow Him.  I don't remember seeing anywhere where Jesus said to go be a leader.  Jesus told us to follow Him.  If we are leading then He can't.  There can only be one leader. 

Nothing is impossible....but do I really believe it?

I was reading in Matthew 17 today and noticed a few things.  First, this is when Jesus was transfigured before Peter, James, and John.  Second, it turns out the disciples were unable to cast out a demon from a man.  The disciples tried but were unable to do so.  Jesus said it was because of their lack of faith.  He said if we have faith as small as a mustard seed we can move mountains.  I wonder sometimes if my faith is even that big.  I've seen God do some amazing things in my life.  But just like the story I read a few days ago about Peter walking with Jesus on the water, I wonder how big my faith really is?  Then Jesus finishes this chapter by telling Peter to go catch a fish and he would find a coin that was enough to pay all of their poll tax.  How did Jesus know the coin would be there?  Obviously, it was because He is the Son of God.  But if you really think about this miracle it is amazing.  How else would a coin show up in a fish unless God put it there?   It's not like a rich supporter came up and paid the tax.  God provided.  I realize just how small my faith really is.  I pray God will rock my world this week and that I will have the faith for Him to do so.  God hasn't stopped doing miracles, I've stopped believing in them.

Deny myself

Reading in Matthew 16 this morning and Jesus said that if we want to be His disciple we must deny ourselves and take up our cross.  Well to the first-century person, taking up a cross meant death.  Living in the US, I wonder how often I really deny myself.  We live in a selfish culture.  I'm as guilty as anyone.  When I drive on Hwy 280 I expect everyone to get off the road for me.  I want lines to be smaller.  I want what I order to be there yesterday.  Do I really deny myself?  Do I really die to myself? 

Listening to God's voice again

I've been reading/listening to Henry and Richard Blackaby's book Hearing God's Voice.  I listen to a lot of books and podcasts because I drive a lot on my rounds.  Today, they were talking about something in their lives.  It sort of depressed me because I wasn't experiencing the same victory.  I then prayed and asked God why my situation was the way it was.  As I was praying, the person whom I was concerned about texted me and asked for what I was praying for all along.  I can't make this up.  I can't go into specifics because I don't want to embarrass the other person involved.  But just what they texted me about was an answer to prayer. 

Followers vs Leaders?

I have been devouring leadership books for the last 30 years.  The leadership industry is a billion dollar business.  We are taught to become leaders in school and in business.  This semester in my D.Min program I'm taking an Organizational Leadership class.  The professor introduced us to the concept of followership.  He even wrote a book called Followerfirst.  It has been amazing how God has used both semesters of my D.Min to break me and mold me.  Last semester I had to deal with relationship issues.  This semester my leadership box just got shattered.

We've been studying the importance of followers and leaders.  Obviously, you can't have a leader without followers.  John Maxwell has influenced my thinking for many years.  I am grateful for most of what I've learned.  But today, it hit me as I was praying and studying in Matthew 10.  God never told us to be leaders.  He told us to follow Him!  I'm not sure what the 2 Google Bots that read my blog think about hearing from God but I've heard God speak to me many times over the last 2 years specifically. 

Today, I heard God say the following things in prayer.  The Holy Spirit said to submit and be the best follower I can be.  He said that followers follow, they don't lead.  He said if you lead then I can't.  We both can't lead at the same time!  He told me to follow and let Him lead.  The problem in the world is we have way too many leaders and not enough followers.  He told me that I would lead but as a follower. Ouch!

According to my faith

I was reading in Matthew 9 today when I saw that Jesus healed according to other's faith.  Jesus healed a paralyzed man in Matthew 9:2 according to the faith of the men who brought him.  Jesus told a bleeding woman that her faith healed her in Matthew 9:22.  In Matthew 9:29 Jesus healed two blind men according to their faith.  I wonder how many miracles and answered prayers I've missed out on because I didn't trust God enough?

Just as you believed

A Roman Centurian came to Jesus to get Jesus to heal his servant in Matthew 8.  Jesus said that he would come and heal the servant but the Centurian told Jesus that he was a man under authority and Jesus did not need to come.  He trusted Jesus enough to heal his servant without even coming to his house.  Jesus was amazed at the man's faith.  How great it must be to amaze God.  Jesus told the man to go and his servant would be healed just as you believe it would.  I think what I find amazing that it seems like our faith has a part in the miracles of God.  So, I must have faith for God to do what I'm praying for.

Planning

I've always been an organized person.  I am rarely late for anything.  I feel I'm late if I'm on time.  I plan ahead.  I have multiple countdown apps on my mac mini, iPhone and iPad.  Since I read Atomic Habits  I've been doing things more consistently.  I set a timer every day to meditate and hear from God.  I've been making our bed and doing the dishes.  These are all to get in a habit.  I also started putting a timer every day to memorize scripture.  I was going to write about my Bible Study in Matthew 7 today, but as I memorized a verse from Proverbs I was hit over the head with something I need to confess and repent from.  Look at Proverbs 16:3

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.

What stood out to me is that I've been committing my plans to God and wanting him to bless them.  What this says to me is that I'm to commit myself to God and He will show me the plans.  I've had it all backward. 

Seeking

Seeking is a word that has been going through my head a lot over the last year.  I was taking the time to write down thoughts that I felt the Holy Spirit was giving me.  I was hit and miss on doing it though.  Then after reading Atomic Habits, I started scheduling 5 minutes to listen to God.  That may not seem like a long time but I've become consistent.  Anyway, I keep hearing in my time listening to seek.  Then in my Bible Study in Matthew 6 today, Jesus said that we are to seek first God's Kingdom and everything else will come.  This seems to be counter-culture.  We are taught to go after what we want.  Things only come to those who get it.  God is not telling us to be lazy.   In fact, I think God wants us to work hard.  But we work hard for him and He gives us all we need.  That makes no sense from a worldly point of view.  It is easy to worry.  I wish I could say I have it together but I don't.   But I have been seeking God more and more every day.  My prayer is as I seek, I will hear his voice more. 

Be perfect

Jesus told those listening to Him in Matthew 4:48 to be perfect.  Is that even possible?  Not under our own power.  But the real meaning is to be complete and mature.  In James 1:4 says:

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

So maybe in order to be mature, complete or perfect, we have to go through trials, difficult people, toxic environments, etc.

Let your light shine

I remember singing “This Little Light of Mine” as a little kid.  I never really thought about how much good theology there is in it.  In Matthew 5 Jesus tells the listeners to be salt and light.  Salt gives taste to food.  Without taste it is nasty.  Light of course lets us see in the darkness.  Jesus was called the light of the world.  Yet, he said in Matthew 5:14 that we are the light of the world.  He also said that our lives should shine so much that others may see your good works and that glorifies God.  Unless I’m reading this wrong, we should want people to see our good works.  Now if it glorifies us then it is arrogance.  But if it glorifies God, then it is light.

He did

We don't read much about Joseph the father of Jesus.  Apparently, he died before Jesus was crucified.  A lot has been said about the faith of Mary and rightly so.  I can't imagine how scary it was for her to become pregnant and to still be a virgin.  I can't imagine the jeers and the whispers she heard.  Then if that is not enough, she had to watch her innocent son be killed.

But Joseph's life isn't mentioned very much.  In Matthew1:19 it says that Joseph was faithful to the law.  When he found out Mary was pregnant, I can't imagine what was in his head.  Rather than get back at her, he was going to dissolve their engagement quietly.  If this happened today in the social media climate, I would imagine some of his friends would have had him post some tough stuff.

Yet, Joseph wanted to protect her.  He cared about her.  Then when he had a dream that explained how Mary got pregnant it all made sense.  However, only he knew that.  It wasn't like he could tell everyone on social media or the evening news that Mary was impregnated by the Holy Spirit.  When Joseph had the dream it says that when he woke up HE DID what the angel commanded him.  Joseph had a choice.  He chose to obey God. 

In Matthew 2 Joseph had another dream to take Mary and Jesus in the middle of the night and go to Eygpt.  In vs 14, it says "HE GOT UP."  In vs 21, he had another dream and was told to take his family back to Galilee.  The scripture says, "HE GOT UP."

Not much is written about Joseph.  But if all that was written about me is "HE DID" and "HE GOT UP" I'm good with that.  Obedience is why Joseph heard from God.  It is why God chose to place his son in the hands of Joseph.

Adjusting

Malachi 3:6 says:

I the Lord do not change

Since God does not change, it is up to me to change.  I must adjust to His ways and His plans.  I have things so planned out in my mind.  But how often have I really asked God what He wants?  God did tell me to go back to school.   That I'm sure of.  It would be easier not to be writing forums and papers and spending weeks in Atlanta and Tuesday nights at Grandview.  The changing needs to come from me.

Because I don't ask

Sometimes things are right in front of us and we don't see it.  I've heard in sales that what separates an average salesperson from a great one is that the great one's ask for the sale.  God wants to give us the best.  I wonder how many times I limit God by my small mindset?  I convince myself that what I'm praying for is not that important.  I make the decision for God without even asking.  James 4:2b-3 says.

You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

I could care less about getting rich.  I didn't get into vocational ministry to make money.  But God has given me a dream.  It has been stuck in my head for almost 4 years.  It hasn't happened.  Was that dream just indigestion?  Or have I just said that my request is not important to God?  It is a God-sized dream.  It is something that I have no way of doing on my own.  Maybe I'm the problem.  Maybe I just ask with the wrong motives.  My dream has nothing to do with money.  So it isn't to get rich.  I'm asking God today.  I'm not sure how much I believe.  But God helps those with just a little faith.  That is all I have.

God provided

I was reading in Jonah this morning.   I kept circling and boxing in God or the Lord provided.  This is really a story of disobedience yet God still provided.  God asked Jonah to go share his love and repentance with Nineveh.  Jonah hated the Assyrians because every good Hebrew did.  Jonah ran from God but as God attempted to get his attention, God provided.  He provided the wind to get Jonah's attention.  He provided a fish to swallow Jonah.  He provided a plant to protect Jonah from the sun.  He provided the wind and sun to rebuke Jonah.  God's provision is not always pleasant for us but it is always needed.

One person can make a difference

Sometimes we think that we can't make any difference in the world because we are just one small person.  Yet twice in Amos 7, the Lord relented from the destruction He planned because of the prayer of Amos.  Amos 7:2b-3 (NIV)

I cried out, “Sovereign Lord, forgive! How can Jacob survive? He is so small!”  So the Lord relented.  “This will not happen,” the Lord said.

My prayers can make a difference.  I can't change the world, but through prayer I can ask God to change the world around me.

Encouragement goes a long way

I have written extensively about the importance of encouraging others.  Today, I was on the receiving end of encouragement.  It was very unexpected today.  Not that the person who said it is not encouraging, but I didn’t know I would see them and wasn’t expecting what they said.  As they said it I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear it.  I actually had to hold back my emotions as they spoke over me.  Let that be a reminder to me to keep encouraging others.

Causing others to sin

Jesus talked about the consequences of causing others to sin in the New Testament.  But it wasn't a New Testament problem exclusively.  Hosea talked about this in Hosea 4:5-7 (NIV)

You stumble day and night, and the prophets stumble with you.  So I will destroy your mother-my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.  “Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the lawl of your God, I also will ignore your children.  The more priests there were, the more they sinned against me; they exchanged their glorious God for something disgraceful.

 I don't think we take how our sins can cause others to sin seriously enough.  I pray that my life will draw people closer to Jesus rather than causing people to sin.  I'm reminded by that song by Sweet Comfort Band called You Led Me to Believe. 

You led me to believeAnd I followed everything you'd say and doYou led me to believeYou've changed your way of thinking nowBut I know what is trueAnd I will keep on holding onTo all the thingsYou led me to believe

I don't know the entire story behind the song but obviously, someone influential in the author becoming a Christian had walked away from their faith.  Thankfully, the author didn't turn his back on God.  I pray that nothing in my life will cause someone else to stumble.

Your words were heard, BUT!

Have you ever had someone hear you but you aren't sure if they really did?  I'm sure I have been guilty of that more times than I would like to admit.  Do you ever feel like your prayers aren't being heard?  Boy, that is a regular thought in my mind.  I know it comes from the enemy but it still happens.

In Daniel 10 the scripture says that an angel came to care for Daniel.  But in Daniel 10:12b-1a (NIV) it says:

your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. 13 But

The angel told Daniel that his prayers were heard, but.   I don't like to hear but.  However, as you continue on the but is because Daniel was in such a spiritual battle that the angel had to call in reinforcements. Daniel 10:13 (NIV) says,

But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. 

The angel needed to call for Michael to help him.  Not only that but they battled with the enemy for 21 days.  Now I don't know about you but that sounds like a pretty big battle.  If an angel can't win on his own is one thing but that it took 2 angels 21 days tells me that spiritual battles are not for the faint of heart.

I wonder how many times there are angels battling on my behalf?  Sometimes I wonder why God seems so distant and silent?   I spend at least an hour a day in prayer and Bible Study.   I wonder if God hears me?  Maybe what God is going to do is so big that it is taking multiple angels to battle on my behalf. 

So distinguished himself

I was studying in Daniel 6 this morning.  I love vs 3:

Now Daniel so distinguished himself among the administrators and the satraps by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to set him over the whole kingdom.

What an awesome way to be known.  I've made some bonehead moves in my life.  I've schemed, I've gossiped, I've slacked, I've been a sinner.  But, for the last few years, I've been working hard to let God mold me and shape me.  I have no idea how it is going because I only see the junk I need to change.  The last 2 years have been extremely trying.  We moved and in the move, moved my mother in law in our home.  This wasn't so bad for me but for my wife who didn't want this to happen.  But we are trying to honor God by taking care of her.  Then my ministry/job changed drastically.  I not only lost pay but lost the leadership position that I so loved.  Now at my age, I'm going backward career-wise.  Sometimes I wonder why I'm doing the things I'm doing.  Right now on my "vacation", I'm writing a 24-page paper for my organizational leadership class.  Not sure why I'm even working on my D.Min but God clearly told me to do it.  So for all two Google bots that read this blog, I hope this gives a glimpse into my state of mind.  As God continues to mold and shape me, my prayer is that my exceptional qualities (that come from God) will distinguish me from others.